why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
They should really pass out barf bags in church
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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