found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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