People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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