We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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