We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
