The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize