I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
