Say something about gay babies.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
