I have demons in me.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
