Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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