why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
