Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
