i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
