Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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