Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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