it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
