4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
