remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
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