I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
