I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
did i just pee glitter
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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