yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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