It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
