i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
