did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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