There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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