i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
