Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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