Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
