did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
