and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
