Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize