my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
