I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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