god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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