i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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