You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
