dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I haven't been this sober since birth.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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