"it" just moved
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
