someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
