Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
