3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I fill condoms, not promises.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
