Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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