Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
