i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
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