FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
