Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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