I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
