I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
