Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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