have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
