I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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