He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize