I love black thongs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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