and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
