i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
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