i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize