im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
