This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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