I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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