Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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