I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize