is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
