Just mADE A PArabola og urine
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
