I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
