god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
