Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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