My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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