i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
