glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Randomize
