Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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