The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Why did my mother make you get naked?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
