Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
