kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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